REVIEW: Marathon Crunchy Dark Chocolate Energy Bars

Protein bars satisfy. And you know what else satisfies? SNICKERS. Combine them, and you might possibly have the most satisfying snack on earth. Or the most horrendously unhealthy. I mean, come on- Snickers protein bar??? That kinda defeats the purpose of even EATING a protein bar. 

You would think so, right? But it turns out the same guys who made Snickers are now making these Marathon Energy Bars- and guess what? THEY'RE ACTUALLY HEALTHY. Gaaaaasp!

Well, at least healthy enough by MY standards. I guess it depends on which Marathon Bar you get exactly, but these Crunchy Dark Chocolate Marathon Bars are only 150 calories a pop, and are packed with 11g of protein. Not bad, especially if these thing's taste live up to the Snickers name. But if NOT... that kinda defeats the purpose of even buying these things. I can buy any old protein bar at the gas station- but when I'm buying one with Snickers on the label, IT. BETTER. DELIVER. OR I WILL CONSUME THE EARTH IN A BOUT OF FLAMES!!! AND SAY, "MARATHON! THIS WAS ALL MARATHON'S FAULT! MARATHONNNNNNNNN!!!"

But no pressure.

A 44.2g bar costs around $1.85.

REVIEW: Quaker Cinnamon Oatmeal Squares Cereal

Hey, hey, hey, ladies and gents! Are you struggled with a terribly tough choice at breakfast every morning? A choice of "Cereal, or Oatmeal?" A choice that leaves you banging your head against the kitchen stove with your hands tugging on your hair, shouting, "I DON'T KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Well, don't have a mental breakdown just yet, ladies and gents. Trust me, a breakfast is not worth the mental examinations. BUT, I'll agree: It IS a tough choice. That's why Quaker has released a breakfast product that gives you the best of both worlds!!! Oatmeal Cinnamon Squares Cereal is THIS product's name, and serving you both oatmeal and cereal is its game.

Although, to be completely honest, I don't really think that was Quaker's intention when marketing this product. They kinda brand it as more of a "Low Cholesterol!" and "Heart Healthy!" and "Diabetes Slayer!" type of cereal. Which was why I wasn't really even looking into trying this cereal until my dad bought it. I mean, come on- a kid like me don't got to eat this for breakfast- a foodstuff that can only be described as "That cereal found in Grandma's cupboards." But since my dad bought this stuff, and since we were all out of my preferred cereals, it was like, "Eh! Why not." So then I gots to reviewing.

A 14.5 oz. box costs around $3.04.

Review: Kashi Crunchy Granola & Seed Honey Oat Flax Bars

Recently, Kashi's released a whole new line of granola bars with the addition of seeds in them. Well, if you call two flavors a "line", that is. I reviewed one of the flavors so far- the Chocolate Chip Chia. They were a bit seed-like in taste to being with (well, dur-hur... they ARE seed bars), but all in all the taste was yummy and hearty enough to bring me back to try the other kind of new granola bar Kashi has released- their Honey Oat Flax Bars. Whereas the Chocolate Chip Chia Bars were made with... chia (dur), these Honey Oat Flax Bars are made with... flax. Hopefully you all deduced that for yourselves before I had to spell it out!

A 7 oz. box with five, two-bar, 1.4 oz packages costs around $4.09.

REVIEW: Kashi Crunchy Granola & Seed Chocolate Chip Chia Bars

Time for another Kashi review! Feel's like awhile since we've done one on here! (Took me FOREVER to stomach that box of Cherry Dark Chocolate bars... Blargh. I actually had to get my stepsister to eat a couple FOR me).

But, as the seasons change, Kashi consistently and steadily generates a slow stream of new product after new product, resulting in, I'm sure- new profit. Kashi's made crunchy granola bars before- akin to the ones by Nature Valley and such -but these new ones are different on account of them being Granola & Seed. See, even Kashi underlined it, right in the picture of the box up over yonder! And what seed shall you find in the bars I will be reviewing today? CHIA! C-C-C-Chia! I wonder if little sprouts will shoot out of these things if I sprinkle over them with water...

Anyway, a 7 oz. box with five 1.4 oz. bars costs around $4.09.

REVIEW: Nature Valley Oats 'n Honey Protein Crunchy Granola

I like granola bars a TON, but I've never really had any actual, good ol' granola granola. Like, you know, the kind you have in a bowl of milk or as a topping on yogurt. I think this party has to due with the fact that, for all the calories granola has, most of them are pretty empty. There were always plenty of other higher-fiber, higher-protein cereal choices, with less sugar and fat not to mention, so I always avoided purchasing granola, even though I really, really wanted to. Another reason I never bought it was that I was never really sure WHICH granola brand to start off with. A lot of them- especially the "better for you" ones -are made by kinda obscure brand names, leaving me to wonder if they're any good or not. But now, Nature Valley has released a new protein granola cereal, which a decent 10 grams of the stuff per serving. Nice! And come on, Nature Valley hasn't let me down before, so why would they start now? I doubt they- the granola bar pantheon of the WORLD -would be unsuccessful in their endeavors of creating something as simple as a granola cereal. But I guess we shall find out! An 11 oz. bag costs around $3.98.

REVIEW: Nature Valley Apple Crisp Crunchy Granola Bars

On my latest search for some Nature Valley reviewing material, I wanted to review something new, but when that yielded fruitless results, I decided to try taste-testing a product that wasn't new per se, but a little more obscure. Like, EVERYONE'S had Nature Valley's Oats n' Honey granola bars, but what about their Apple Crisp variety? Nope, I hadn't had it either, until I picked a box up from the store to try. I quite like the sound of Apple Crisp- sooooo desserty -so I was pretty excited to try these out.

An 8.9 oz. box containing six 1.5 oz. bars costs around $3.24.

REVIEW: CLIF Crunchy Peanut Butter Energy Bar

Time for this blog's first-ever CLIF Bar review! Yayyyyy! I'm so excited!!! This is honestly my first time even EATING a full-sized CLIF Bar, let alone reviewing one, so hopefully it's an enjoyable bar. I'd like to start taste-testing and reviewing CLIF Bars more often, especially since they have a LOT of mouthwatering flavors: Banana Nut Bread, Carrot Cake, Maple Nut, Oatmeal Raisin Walnut, Chocolate Chip, White Chocolate Macadamia... ALL of these sound VERY good, but of course the first CLIF bar I get is the average ol' Crunchy Peanut Butter... Oh well. Peanut Butter-flavored products have disappointed me in the past, but there've also been pleasant surprises as well. So hopefully this CLIF Bar falls into the latter category. One 2.4 oz. bar costs around $1.27.