REVIEW: Girl Scouts Gluten Free Chocolate Chip Shortbread Cookies

Out of the two new cookies Girl Scouts unveiled this Cookie Season- the Cranberry Citrus Crisps and the Chocolate Chip Shortbreads -I was definitely more excited for the Chocolate Chips. I mean, don't me wrong, I totally LOVE it when my cookies taste like oranges, but something about chocolate chips is so alluring. Plus, Girl Scouts' Shortbread cookies are pretty much amazing, so adding chocolate chips to the mix is like making a perfect snack even more perfect...er. So I just knew that I had to pick up these cookies AS. SOON. AS. POSSIBLE.

Thankfully, it didn't take long for me to spot a table of Girl Scouts when I was out grocery shopping. The little girls were all wearing these ponchos with a design of each cookie in the center with the cookies' names encircling each design. It was all kinda silly, especially the Peanut Butter Patties poncho- it looked like there was a big, brown, flat circle right in the middle of the fabric, nothing more.

But kooky advertising tricks aside, I went up to the table and looked for the Chocolate Chip Shortbreads. And then, I found them! ...Kind of. See, they were in this plastic bags- kind of like the ones granola or pistachios come in -and they were labeled as "gluten free." Plus, they were, like, a dollar more than the normal Girl Scouts cookies. I figured this was only because they were gluten free, so I kindly asked one of the ladies that the table if there were UNgluten free Chocolate Chip Shortbreads, and she said no.

Well then- nobody told me that these new cookies were gluten free! Now what? I wasn't gluten-intolerant, so why would I settle for gluten free cookies? 

Right after, I saw a grocery store employee come up and ask the same lady if they had the gluten free chocolate chip cookies. I asked the employee if she knew if they were any good or not. She said no- she hadn't tried them yet. Well, if SHE was willing to try them...

I put my money down, picked up a bag of the gluten free cookies, and went home, wondering how they would turn out.

A 5 oz. bag costs around $5.00.

REVIEW: Pure Protein Chocolate Deluxe High Protein Bar

I like having snacks that are full of protein. But as much as I like food like meats and beans and cheeses and all of that stuff- they're not really convenient as on-the-go foods. Or really anything that I'd actually want as a "snack" (well, maybe cheese, but still). No, I just think there's more appeal to eating sweet protein foods when you want a snack. Like protein bars. Plus, there is no end to the variety in protein bars! Cinnamon bun-flavored protein? Blueberry pie? Oatmeal cookie? Really, you can have you protein any way you want it- there are just so many flavors to choose from nowadays. And what craaaazy-cool flavor will I be reviewing today? That's right- Chocolate! Woohoo! What the little daredevil I am!

But this isn't just any Chocolate- it's Chocolate Deluxe. Oooooooh! This bar is made by Pure Protein, and with 20 grams of the stuff in one bar, I wouldn't say the brand name is all too misleading at all.

One 50g bar costs around $1.49.

REVIEW: Kemps Mint Cow Tracks Ice Cream

Okay, so you know how I said in my last mint ice cream review that I wasn't a big fan of the flavor? Yeah, well, apparently SOMEbody in my family is because we keep buying it up for whatever reason. That somebody would be my father. But for some odd reason, I think he's buying all this mint ice cream for ME. When he bought this latest flavor of mint, he said to me, "Bought some ice cream. Got mint flavor in there." Sounds to me like a case of misunderstanding! But for now, I guess I'll just have to make do with what I got. Hey, ice cream is ice cream! I should be lucky as child to even have some.

So, the lastest mint ice cream to be welcomed up to our family's freezer is this Mint Cow Tracks Ice Cream from Kemps. It's a minty ice cream swirled with a thick fudge and dotted with chocolate-mint mini cows. Hey! This is Wisconsin; we ain't got no time for turtle tracks. Feh! Cow tracks all the way, baby!

A 1.5 qt. of ice cream costs around $3.99.

REVIEW: Kemps Throwback Chocolate Chip Ice Cream

You know what food gimmick I consider silly? Huh? A promotion that I think should just be dropped altogether? One that should be sent to the bottom of a pit, never to return? Huh? Huh? You guessed it- throwback flavors. They're just so darn useless. A mere definition of the word "gimmick." Like, for instance, I remember a few years ago how my dad was so jazzed up for some old-fashioned Mountain Dew that was being released as a throwback item, and I was just like, "Why?" He said it was made with real sugar, but isn't all Mountain Dew? What's the big deal? You can't just slap "Throwback" onto any old food product you see and live a good and decent-

.............

Uh huh. Uh huh... I see...

Well, alright, so a correspondent of mine just informed me that no, not all Mountain Dews are made with real sugar- in fact, most of the flavors are made with high fructose corn syrup.

Well. Alright then. I guess... I was wrong...

Well now, Mr. Correspondent! Do you see what you've done now?! A perfectly good rant ruined! Waaaaah!

...I guess now all I can do is introduce my next reviewing material like it is. Today I'll be trying this Throwback Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, brought to you by Kemps. I think this ice cream is labeled as "Throwback" NOT because it is a variation on Kemps' current Chocolate Chip, but because it is a flavor that the company has made since 1914. Pro deduction skills there.

Anyway, a 1.5 qt. container will cost around $3.89.

REVIEW: Kellogg's NutriGrain Chocolatey Crunch Chocolatey Chip Granola Bars

You remember those commercials Kellogg's released for their Fruit Crunch Bars awhile back? You know- the ones with the vampires? Oh yeah, they totally dug those NutriGrain bars. Cuz' that makes sense. Vampires LOVE eating herbivorous foods like fruits and oats. I guess in all seriousness it'd make sense for them to enjoy the Strawberry Parfait flavor, since vampires eat shades of red, but still. That strawberry bar is more of a pinkish hue. AT BEST. So why would vampires be so into these NutriGrain Bars? What is Kellogg's insinuating? Is there some secret ingredient in these that we are unaware of? 

Blood, maybe...?

No, no, that couldn't be- I mean, blood, come on. How could Kellogg's obtain such a thing as blood? It's not like there's gallons upon gallons to be found in every living thing on Earth or anything like that. Yeah, blood, haha- there's no way! That... couldn't...be... Buuuuuuuut...

It does seem a little odd for Kellogg's to just pull the idea of a commercial about vampires out of their heads like that... I mean, the commercial obviously wasn't meant to be FUNNY... So where did the idea for vampires come up from...? Maybe, just maybe...

No, nevermind. There's NO BLOOD in these things. There's not, there's not, there's not.

But just to be on the safe side, I'll try Kellogg's NutriGrain Chocolately Crunch Bars first- you know, the bars NOT advertised in the hidden-message vamp ads.

A 7.4 oz. box with five 1.48 oz. pouches costs around $2.58.

REVIEW: Kashi Crunchy Granola & Seed Chocolate Chip Chia Bars

Time for another Kashi review! Feel's like awhile since we've done one on here! (Took me FOREVER to stomach that box of Cherry Dark Chocolate bars... Blargh. I actually had to get my stepsister to eat a couple FOR me).

But, as the seasons change, Kashi consistently and steadily generates a slow stream of new product after new product, resulting in, I'm sure- new profit. Kashi's made crunchy granola bars before- akin to the ones by Nature Valley and such -but these new ones are different on account of them being Granola & Seed. See, even Kashi underlined it, right in the picture of the box up over yonder! And what seed shall you find in the bars I will be reviewing today? CHIA! C-C-C-Chia! I wonder if little sprouts will shoot out of these things if I sprinkle over them with water...

Anyway, a 7 oz. box with five 1.4 oz. bars costs around $4.09.

REVIEW: Fiber One 90 Calorie Brownies Chocolate Chip Cookie

Last review I talked about purchasing two different types of Fiber One "brownies" for taste-testing. That review was all about Cinnamon Coffee Cake- Now we move on to Chocolate Chip Cookie! By the way, I wonder if Fiber One ought to change the name of this product line to something other than 90 Calorie BROWNIES. Because if they keep going in the direction they're heading, we're going to have a lot of non-brownie treats under a brownie label, you know what I'm saying? Lemon Bar? Coffee Cake? Chocolate Chip Cookie? I'm no patisserie, but those are NOT brownie names, people.

Anyway, a 5.34 oz. box with six 0.89 brownies costs around $2.98.

REVIEW: Fiber One Chocolate Peanut Butter Meal Bar

It's interesting to see what brand names are hopping on the meal bar bandwagon nowadays, but I'd NEVER think to see Fiber One producing them. Sure, Fiber One has made protein bars in the past, and I see nothing weird about that, but meal bars? Like the ones you find near the medicine aisle? Not Fiber One! Fiber One just seems so... commercial, I guess. I don't know. I mean, I'm sure CLIF and Atkins and PowerBar are all plenty commercial too, but at least they were FOUNDED as meal/protein/energy bar companies to begin with. Fiber One just didn't strike me as the kind of brand that would really be serious about making nutritious products like meal bars. Does that make sense? Fiber One cereals and granola bars are nutritious too, but in a different way. In a way that people who aren't TOO serious about nutrition would buy into. Maybe this all sounds just gobbley-gook, so I'll just shut up now.

But anyway, I'm totally glad Fiber One is making meal bars now- don't get me wrong. They make yummy chewy bars, so I'm sure their meal bars have some degree of potential to them as well. The flavors they've released so far are Strawberry Greek Yogurt, Dark Chocolate Almond, and Chocolate Peanut Butter- the last of which I will be reviewing today. A 7.95 oz. box with five 1.59 oz. bars costs around $5.49.