Wednesday, February 5, 2014

REVIEW: Marathon Crunchy Dark Chocolate Energy Bars

Protein bars satisfy. And you know what else satisfies? SNICKERS. Combine them, and you might possibly have the most satisfying snack on earth. Or the most horrendously unhealthy. I mean, come on- Snickers protein bar??? That kinda defeats the purpose of even EATING a protein bar. 
You would think so, right? But it turns out the same guys who made Snickers are now making these Marathon Energy Bars- and guess what? THEY'RE ACTUALLY HEALTHY. Gaaaaasp!
Well, at least healthy enough by MY standards. I guess it depends on which Marathon Bar you get exactly, but these Crunchy Dark Chocolate Marathon Bars are only 150 calories a pop, and are packed with 11g of protein. Not bad, especially if these thing's taste live up to the Snickers name. But if NOT... that kinda defeats the purpose of even buying these things. I can buy any old protein bar at the gas station- but when I'm buying one with Snickers on the label, IT. BETTER. DELIVER. OR I WILL CONSUME THE EARTH IN A BOUT OF FLAMES!!! AND SAY, "MARATHON! THIS WAS ALL MARATHON'S FAULT! MARATHONNNNNNNNN!!!"
But no pressure.
A 44.2g bar costs around $1.85.

A 44.2g contains 150 calories, 40 of them being from fat, 4.5g of total fat, 2.5g of saturated fat, 0g of trasns fat, 0mg of cholesterol, 160mg of sodium, 115mg of potassium, 22g of total carbohydrates, 7g of dietary fiber, 9g of sugar, and 11g of protein. Also contains a slew of amounts of your various vitamins and minerals- some of the values going up to as high as 100%! How can anything with the Snickers label be so... healthy? It's a complete anomaly.


Okay, so what we have here is a thinnish bar, with three distinct layers: a milk chocolate bottom, a crisped rice/peanut/caramel middle, and a chocolate-like top. I say chocolate-like because it LOOKS like chocolate, except for the fact it's all shiny and what not. Seriously, what IS this stuff? I know it's my job as a food reviewer to find out but I'm drawing a complete blank here. Maybe if I taste it, the answer will become more obvious...

Let's analyze the taste of this bar from the ground up: First off, the chocolate bottom is smooth and rich- unlike many protein bars' chocolates, which are bland and mild. Sure, this may sound redundant, but this chocolate provides a very chocolatey taste. No doy, right? Moving on. The crisped rice in the middle is light and crispy, and is mixed together with little peanut pieces that add small bursts of nutty flavor now and again. As for the top? Well... yeah. I still don't know what the stuff on top is. It really doesn't taste like anything. It's chewy though, I'll give it that. 

All throughout this bar, there was one thought that kept sounding in my head: "THIS TASTES LIKE SNICKERS!" Looks like a world crisis is averted! Phew. But seriously, this really, really does taste like Snickers. It's almost shocking how much this tastes like a Snickers but still manages to be so healthy. I actually have my doubts on whether this bar's nutrition facts are accurate or not. But that's a good thing. It just proves how tasty this bar is. It's sweet, rich, nutty, caramely, chocolately... Everything a Snickers is, with whopping punch of protein and fiber too boot! And a whole bunch of other healthy stuff! All I have to say is... Wow. Way to go Marathon! This is probably one of the best, if not THE BEST, protein bars I've ever tried, so I'll definitely buy this bar again.
I'd give Marathon's Crunchy Dark Chocolate Energy Bar a 10/10!

What protein bar should be NEXT on the review lineup? Let us know in the comments below!

Till' then, this has been RiRi ri-porting!

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